"it" just moved
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
