He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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