Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
