ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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