Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I didn't notice because vodka
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
