If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
