You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I love you.
Bad choice
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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