1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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