i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
