His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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