carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
