So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
