Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
time to smoke my breakfast
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
