i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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