Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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