what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
