PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
