dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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