Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize