If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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