it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
