I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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