come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize