i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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