It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize