my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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