he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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