She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
