Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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