Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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