Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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