Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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