Dual....:-)
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
