he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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