Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
