I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Quick, to the slutcave!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
