What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize