I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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