the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize