you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
