Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
