I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
