Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
