I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
