Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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