Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
