he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize