Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
