Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
