Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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