I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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