let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize