Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
