I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
