Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
