God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
