i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
