I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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