I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
