Kiss
Puke
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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