She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
