They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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