so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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