We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
