Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
