I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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